I consider myself to be one hell of a fighter.
I have that "POSITIVE" attitude and I always have a good quote & analogies that would blow your mind...I impress myself sometimes
The past year has been by far the roughest year of my life! It has been so extreme - from the highest highs to the lowest lows.
CRAZY how quickly things change.
::So word of advise ::
Don't take things for granted because they can change so fast!
During my ROUGH times yeah I have handled things well and have kept it together for the most part because I have learned that if I make myself out to be the VICTIM I will be one.
When everyone would expect me to be a broken mess I have surprised and impressed them with my ability to move on and stay positive but in reality the girl with the big smile all the time ... has some not so happy - lonely times.
Don't get me wrong - I am good...not suicidal or anything I just I feel really lonely.
WHY WOULD I SAY THAT? I know that sounds insane considering that my entourage always consists of 7 plus people & yes I am aware that I am lucky and I am so extremely fortunate to have the friends that I have. They literally helped SAVE a lost and broken girl when she got caught in the strong currents of life and felt like she was being taken under.
I know I know...Boo Freaking Hooo "Cry me a RIVER" STFU but people don't understand that being happy go lucky is a lot of work.
It definitely takes a heck load of
Why???
Well because on days that all I want to do is cry and have my own PITY PARTY I have to put on my armor & smile to face the world.
I know no ones asks me to be this way but who would want to be around me if I were the Party Pooper all the time? Besides I prefer to be this way than a downer.
::On my knees with hands clasped together::
God,
Hi it's Madelyn...sorry for the constant bothering lately but I need your help in more ways than one. Tonight I will keep it simple. Can you do me a favor...call Walgreens and let them know I need a refill on that heavy duty stuff STR-ENGTH and to up the dosage please? I really need it right now. Thanks...you know I love you and I'll be with your Home Boy Pastor Pedro on Saturday...SO I guess we will be talking...G'night - Amen"
Add me to the guestlist for the pity party. If you ever get really lonely, call me and we'll go on a random adventure where tears and calories don't count. Boofuckinhoo. ;)
ReplyDeletesending you love from Illinois... :) ::big hugs::
ReplyDeleteHoney love, the good thing is that strength, like love, is a commodity that never runs out - even though we might feel it has to eventually. :) But it is one of those beautiful things God blessed us with - besides the whole "free will" thing. Being your awesome self, even with the occasional pity-party or "case of the Mondays", is all that's required of your life.
ReplyDelete